On the twelfth day of AOL those buttheads gave to me,

12 reasons to cancel,

11 channels not working,

10 hours without mail,

9 frozen chat rooms,

8 hours of busy signals,

7 frozen IMs,

6 disconnections,

5 web crashes,

4 idiots at tech help,

3 error messages,

2 pieces of junk mail,

and a jerk cursing in a chat room.