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10. You've got red and green bags under your eyes.
 9. You're serving reindeer pot pie.
 8. When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?,"  you
    scream, "NO, DAMMIT! I'M NOT LISTENING!!!"
 7. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers in the ass
    with your BB gun.
 6. You think you hear your Christmas tree taunting you.
 5. Instead of spending time with family, you're watching some
    guy make photocopies.
 4. You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but
    mistletoe.
 3. You've got eggnog coming out of your ears.
 2. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you
    bastard!"
 1. Two words tinsel rash.

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